This post doesn’t have a specific title for my own emotions are all over the place. My grandfather passed on on Easter Sunday afternoon, I managed to see him one last time the night before. I was away from home from college, One my second year last year… He was diagnosed with cologne cancer and was in a bad state for me. My grandfather and I have a special bond, even though I have younger cousins and a sister below me… I am the first grandchild he had and my given name, Sonia was given by him. Yes, even though I personally dislike that name because of sceptical people; I am still grateful for that.
Growing up, I may not physically express my love to my grandpa. However, I do love him in my own way. Normally, I would wait for my mom and grandpa after church for his elderly choir. I was a kid back then, I threw a lot of tantrums about it. Yet… My grandpa doesn’t say anything about it. As years goes by to my adolescence years, I am the black sheep of the family due to my ‘hanzo’ phase; I would always scream and shout at all of cousins including my sister. I know my grandpa is always annoyed with me behaving like that, he never said anything.
Fast foward, today. I am almost finished with my diploma studies, his condition was getting worse each day. It pains me to be far away from him, cause I am scared of losing my grandpa. All my memories with him would forever be memories and I don’t have anyone reminisce with . However, I am reliefed that God decided to take him away during Easter. He knows that my grandpa had been suffering, All of god’s doings are the best. Although I am not ready to let go yet, I have to.
My best memory with my grandpa would be my preschool days, sometimes after school he would fetch me, my cousin and my sister. He would bring us to eat ice cream without telling my mom, however… She would found out eventually and lecture him on not to let us eat ice cream. My grandpa is also very peculiar, he wasn’t allow to eat any kind of food, he would have the ‘Kia Su’ attitude and tried to eat it. That happened when he was first admitted to the hospital and it was the lunar this year, it was the reunion dinner. He wasn’t allowed to eat braised pork, everyone – the adults already told him he can’t eat it. While everyone was chit chatting, He would try to go incognito and snuck a bite. Now, he can’t eat it anymore.
Good bye grandpa, I will miss you tenfold for you had been asking where I was all the time when I am far away from you. May you reunite with your sister and brother there. You would always be the best grandpa I ever have.